You have a lot of guys you can go on dates with, but what makes it difficult is finding a viable partner. They are extremely smart and logical and think, "I can apply that to a relationship and be rational and logical and that will work." They don't realize that as women, we can be emotional — a lot of guys don't have tolerance for that.Most of the men went to Ivy League schools, are ambitious, and came out here because it's the mecca of the tech world. A lot of people in the Valley have started meeting people through salsa dancing — it's really big — and so much social awkwardness comes up. They act like, "Oh my goodness, there is a woman who I'm touching." They get super nervous.You can tell a vegetarian Noe Valley protoyuppie Green supporter at ten paces from a Bernal Heights lesbian-mom corporate type.When singles are hanging out, it's often with the same crew.More experienced women have been dubbed "cougars" for their independent, or, some say, predatory ways."It's more conventional in the Bay Area to be gay than it is to be a cougar," Gosse said. I'm into women, and I thought it would be fun, and it is.Nick Santoro, 26, a marketing coordinator for an engineering firm, was roped into attending by his friend Paul Lee, 30, a university administrator from Oakland. "It's attractive, instead of chasing someone, to be chased." There is also an appeal, he indicated, in not having to make a commitment.
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Here's an excerpt.***Which Microniche Are You In?
"I'm trying to get cougars out of the closet." Garrett, a divorced entrepreneur accustomed to taking risks, had no trouble with that. I'm probably the youngest guy here." Lee said role reversal is the key.
She drove 102 miles each way, from Granite Bay, near Sacramento, to the Danville singles party, in her bid for a date. I love hearing that," she purred, flashing a mane of blond hair and a white smile. Us cougars, we hunt all over." The crowd was about 80 percent women, many of them in their 50s, and about 20 percent men, who ranged in age from their mid-20s to their 60s. "Younger women tend to not know what they want, whereas older women do," he said.
The mentality is, "Am I going to invest in this or do sort of a pre-date? They're the type that's always looking for a better option.